Why do I act surprise, why does my heart ache like its a new feeling??

Never in 10 Years has it been there when I most needed it to be. Actually not only has it not been there it's laughed in my face. I can't understand how the misery was allowed to flourish and grow and how I have never ever truly put a stop to it.

Am I destined to this misery until I die. Is that what my culture taught me to live with and just assume there is no better?

I want to walk away, I want to reach further and know that at 60 I won't be that type of woman...but I need the strength and the conviction. Two things I believe you are either born with or are taught. I wasn't born with it and unfortunately was not taught it either..... Is there still hope for me?

That will be my Why question I guess.....Until I perish....

XOXO