Thursday, September 3, 2009

Hmm..Still it working though?

ok so I re read my blogs and it sounds exactly like what my life tons of downs and a few ups.
Well now it's September, I'm still jobless, couldn't keep up with the 3k payments so now I'm in court. With that I'm also in more debt since for 4 months I made the payments forging to pay anything else. My dad has parkinson. My mom is unbearable and I realized today that for as much as I defend my dad HE CHOSE HER!
I'd love to move to another state or country and feel like I may start over. I have the biggest yearning to be pregnant and have a child, yet I'm absolutely terrified like nothing else has terrified me in this world to turn out like my mother.

What to do what to do, I'm in a state of depression and I know it but have no clue how to get out and get moving again. I feel, actually I know I was destine for so much more, unfortunately though for me I have no idea as to where to begin the path.

I've wronged this earth and I know it, but hot diggity damn this earth has sure for sure wronged me.
I'm not a victim I'm not a victim.......

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