Thursday, December 3, 2009

Life has just continued to get harder, and I find myself feeling paused.
I don't even know exactly what that means, but I know that's exactly where I am at. I have absolutely no desire to anything but lay in bed and wait for the next day, but really can anyone live their life that way.
2009 has handed me so much pain, anger, regret and sadness that I no longer wish to write a book about my life but just a book on my life in 2009.
My life in a bubble has been completely eliminated, as much as I search for just a tiny bit of that wonder woman I use to be, I can't seem to find her anywhere. Not in my reality or in my dreams, has she gone forever? I don't want to sincerely believe that...but my eyes show my no different.
I will say I am absolutely tired of complaining and not being "grateful" for what I do have. I am also extremely tired of people who insist on tell me how everything will be fine and dandy sooner rather than later.
It amazes me how I can give great advice and positive words to just about anyone in any situation but I can't stomach to believe not even an ounce of it....does that make me a hypocrite?
I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow, next week or by the end of the year, I just know that somewhere inside this body that I call my own there has to be just has to be an ounce of the woman I use to be....hope I find it soon....

No comments:

Post a Comment